"I have no idea...Maybe ask at the front desk?" If they wanted to make it official anyway. With the way this place had shuffled them around before, he doubts it would be as simple as just deciding to shack up somewhere. Hell didn't make things easy.
He follows Wylan deeper into the suite, taking up the space next to him on the couch. He normally gave space, but he's a bit reluctant to let Wylan stray too far out of sight right now--he's sure that will fade. Eventually.
"You sure that isn't the energy that is Kavinsky?" Jesper jokes softly, but he knows Wylan has his reasons to worry. "To be honest, the hotel itself is trouble enough. Whole houses? Free for the taking? You're probably right about there being something off there."
"Kavinsky isn't the only thing out there I worry about." He actually laughs lightly, shaking his head. "I just don't think it's safe and everyone out there is crazy."
Not that the hotel was much safer but something about Hellburbia just doesn't seem like it was an idyllic community. It takes him a moment, but he slowly leans over and rests his head against Jesper's shoulder, enjoying the closeness that they could share even in their own guilt and grief.
"I hate this place." He frowns, looping his arm around Jesper's as he keeps close. "I don't think you're meant to like it unless you thrive on violence and torture." Or the sex. He's pretty sure he does not want to know what happens in Club Penance.
"You say as if we're not part of a whole troupe of crazy people," Jesper murmurs, letting Wylan settle in against his side. They both carried their own grief and trauma from recent events, but like this--like this, he could at least feel as if they shouldered them well enough together.
He sighs at Wylan's next observation, true as it may be. "If anyone likes this place, I'm making a point to stay far away from them." That was not the kind of person they needed to be dealing with on top of everything else. "The point, apparently, is supposed to be redemption. I'm not so sure it's actually obtainable."
"How are we obtaining redemption? How is everything that we've faced so far a path to it?" He sounds exasperated by it all. "The torture, the death, the pain that we're all experiencing doesn't seem like a sound way for us to "redeem" ourselves."
Then again, the fog may not have been Lucifer's doing, or even the Veiled Order's. Lilith was also trapped with them all and he doesn't think that she would be tortured with them. He huffs out a sigh, carefully moving to take hold of Jesper's hand for the added contact.
"Sorry I just, can't wrap my mind about what we've been through versus what the supposed end goal is." He's thought about it a lot too. "I think you're right about it not being obtainable."
"I think if you try to figure it all out you're just going to drive yourself mad." There seemed to be no clear answers here. It's obvious the fog itself wasn't something to push their redemption--not with Lilith herself caught up in it. But that hardly brought any level of comfort.
"I think...all we can do, is keep together. Keep each other grounded and take care of each other." It's how they'd managed to make it so far. He was going to put some faith into that if only because it was the only thing worth putting his faith into.
Not that he was entirely comfortable with the idea, but it was a solid idea never-the-less. Wylan is grateful that Jesper was someone who could ground him, only briefly wondering what Hell would be like if he wasn't around.
"Are you staying the night?" He asks, changing the subject.
Could he actually handle Jesper in his bed tonight? Their closeness was fine for now, but if he started to touch his neck again, he's not sure he could handle it. He hates the idea that he couldn't handle Jesper even touching him. He unconsciously touches his neck, his breathing quickening slightly.
It's not an unusual question, from either of them, but there's a different cadence to Wylan's voice. Something that suggests there's more to this question. There's a hesitancy he's not used to, and it only serves to etch a frown across his face when it's coupled with Wylan reaching up to touch his neck.
He doesn't like what this place is doing to the boy in front of him. There had always been a nervous quality to Wylan, no doubt the result of years under his father's tutorage and scorn. But this was something more, something visceral and dark.
Jesper doesn't like it at all. But he says nothing of it either.
"Do you want me to?" It's a whisper, gentle. He wants to stay, wants the assurance that comes with having Wylan close and not--But he wouldn't force it either. It's obvious Wylan has his own nightmares and scars to deal with. If he felt he needed to do that alone, well he wasn't going to argue.
He hesitates to respond, the words dying on his tongue as his mind races with his answer. Does he want Jesper there? Does he want to face this nightmare head-on and on his own? He licks his lips, before he slowly, so slowly, nods.
"Yes, of course." He whispers back, slowly removing his hand from this throat. "I want you to stay."
He doesn't think he can do this alone. Not yet, not when it's still so raw. What sort of nightmares would sleep bring? He wasn't certain and Wylan doesn't wish to speculate on what his dreams will bring. He's already reliving his deaths every time he looks in the mirror. At least, he thinks, he only has a reminder of one of them.
"What do you want to do in the meantime?" He asks, gripping Jesper's hand tighter. "I was thinking we could grab some coffee from the lobby... At least that was my plan anyway."
Coffee to keep himself awake. That was a healthy plan, wasn't it?
He has a feeling he knows what the caffeine is for, but he can't fault Wylan for the thought. He knows what lurks at the edge of consciousness and how the mind twists every worry and fear to somehow make them worse. He wouldn't mind staying awake as long as he was able either.
"I think, that sounds like a good plan..." It was something to occupy them both. A destination, a task--mundane, but enough to distract. "We can head there...see if there's anything we can scrounge up around? Not sure what materials they have, but I wouldn't mind getting my hands on something to work with..."
Distractions. Things that would keep his mind and idle hands occupied. Something that would keep the urge to continually reach out and touch Wylan at bay. He hadn't missed the way he jumped at any contact--and he'd have to be mindful of that.
"Yeah?" He smiles a little, sitting up straight. "Yeah. I'm sure we can find something. Come on, let's go downstairs and see what we can find."
Something to distract, something to help get his mind off of the facts - that's all this was. Between the caffeine and whatever they could find, it would be a worthwhile use of his focus. Much better than wallowing in his room wondering when the next Thing was going to happen.
He releases Jesper's hand and pushes himself to his feet. Once standing he offers his hand to Jesper to help him up. Wylan would get through this, he had to. Not just because he enjoyed it when Jesper touched him, but he can't let it beat him.
"Oh!" It dawns on him quickly. "How are Kaz's gloves coming along? I haven't asked you about those in a while."
He knows nothing is going to be fixed overnight. It may not really get quite "fixed", as Hell likes to keep reminding them. But that brief glint of a smile is more than a welcome sight. It's proof positive that something of Wylan hadn't shattered completely, that this recent terror could possibly be something they moved past.
"The gloves?" He asks as he takes Wylan's hand and gets up. "Made some headway before...the fog. I think I might be able to ask him for his pair to fix up soon. I want to get it right on the practice sets first."
Right. They had that project. He had almost forgotten in the state the fog and all its horrors had left him in.
"But...if you want something to tinker with. I still plan on sending Noah glitter bombs--even if he swears I don't actually owe him anything."
Not broken yet, but he's definitely frayed around the edges. He nods as Jesper rights himself to his feet and continues to hold his hand. Something about the simple action was grounding, and he just needed something keep him grounded. If holding Jesper's hand was working, you bet he's going to keep doing it.
He's alive. He's alive and it's okay, he tells himself again before he looks up at Jesper.
"That's good! It's getting colder so I figure it might be handy to get those done before it gets too cold." He points out. Especially with all of the test pairs, they could just gift them to the rest of the gang. There's a small pause before he can't help but laugh. "That's dangerous. Where are we going to find the glitter for something like that?"
Jesper doesn't say anything as Wylan continues holding his hand--if anything he grips it a bit tighter himself.
Grounding. Physical, and real, and here. Wylan might tense and jump at other touches for a time, but if he was at least allowed this? He'd take it.
"You just want to steal a pair for yourself when Hell freezes over." He teases, grateful for the chance to banter. It's easier, closer to normal. "As for the glitter...well that's why we're going 'shopping', right?"
"Maybe." He smiles a little more as he leads Jesper to the door. "I mean do you think Hell will actually freeze over?"
As for their shopping trip... Wylan rolls his eyes a little bit. He agreed to coffee, but maybe going out and actually doing something might be helpful to his mood. He opens the door with a nod.
"All right. Glitter and coffee." He says. "How explosive do you think we should make it?"
"I think Hell does whatever the fuck it wants, so if it wants to freeze...It'll try to give Fjerda a run for its money." He honestly wouldn't put it past this place to shove them all into a literal freezer if it struck its fancy.
"Coffee first. Then a glitter hunt." Because they both needed the break, the distraction from where conversations will inevitably lead when there was too much quiet. "As for explosive...go big? Get fancy with it."
"Fjerdan winters are no laughing matter either." He points out as he steps into the hall. "Should we go digging for warmer clothing too?"
He laughs lightly. "Maybe we should make that a priority over glitter first. So Coffee, warmer clothing, glitter, and all the components to make an explosive." He'd need to put together a list of items they'd need to accomplish it. "Does Noah know he's getting a glitter bomb?"
"All Fjerda has is winter." Jesper has to argue. He knows it's not exactly true, but it was true enough in his opinion. "But...warmer clothes might not be a bad idea. Just in case."
He shakes his head. "Should we write this down? Make a list?" It felt almost downright domestic. A hellish little shopping list. "I told him I'd be surprising him with something. Guess we'll have to deliver it with a warning attached."
This is exactly what he needed. He squeezes his hand, reassuring him that he was going to be okay. Wylan could get through this trying time as long as he has Jesper with him. He's not sure how he'd manage otherwise.
"It'd take me all day to write it out" He points out with a slight frown. "But making a list isn't a bad idea. Especially since we'll need some specific components for the bomb. I don't know if we'll find everything here." He then gives Jesper a slightly shocked expression. "You better warn him! Maybe making him a literal glitter bomb is a bad idea...."
"It is and you know it." It's childish, his tone bordering on playful even.
None of this would erase what happened, but it would help ease the burden it placed on both of them.
"Wylan...you say that like I wouldn't write it for you." As if he would make him suffer a list. He could easily make one up and check it for them as they go along. "You can just dictate what we need, no problem...Might be best if you dictate the note that should go along with whatever this glitter monstrosity will be."
"True. So we'll make the list while we drink coffee and then go looking for what we need?"
That sounded like a reasonable plan. Make a list, figure out what exactly they need, and then build a bomb. Simple, right?
"Yeah." A beat. "Why do I get the feeling this is probably a bad idea? Like maybe I should tone it down a bit?" Cause really giving Noah an explosive... was that the best idea in the world? Would he actually be safe with it? Hopefully, they don't regret giving him such a dangerous gift.
But it was a reasonable plan, all things considered. He hoped hell had what they needed for a bomb. It probably had it in spades.
"Bad idea? Probably. Should we do it anyway? Absolutely." What was life without a little (mostly) harmless chaos? Specifically chaos of their own making. "It'll be fine."
"I think you'd do rather well with domestic." He teases lightly.
He walks down the hall with a shake of his head and a smile on his lip. He couldn't stand the crushing guilt or the terror that snuck its way through his veins, but at least for the moment, he could pretend everything was fine.
"All right, all right. One destructive glitter bomb will be made. Just one. If we can find the right materials then we might have a fighting chance for whatever Hell throws at us next."
"Oh really? Then shall I wake you with breakfast in bed every morning, dear?" He's mostly teasing, but the thought warms him all the same. Domesticity doesn't sound like a bad thing when it comes with Wylan attached.
"If you're thinking about making this a fighting chance against Hell's bullshit, we might need to think about trying for more than a glitter bomb."
"Would you?" Make him breakfast in bed every morning? Would he really be content with staying with him? He asks himself that every day, and wonders when life would become too boring for him. It hurts, but seeing Jesper's smile right now, talking about such a silly thing as breakfast eases his worries. "It would be a nice thing to wake up to."
Among other things.
Back to the topic at hand.
"Well if we get the components the only difference between what I would be making for Noah and what I would make normally would be the glitter." He points out. "We just need to make sure we find everything we need." Containers, powder, starting mechanisms that he may need to build on his own -- it would be an interesting list to say the least.
"I would." As much as he teased and joked, the reply is nothing but sincere. If Wylan wanted him there, wanted these simple things from him, then he had it all. Jesper was, admittedly, more than a little gone over this boy.
Things and feelings that were better left for another time.
"...Same base, different outcomes. What if we replaced the glitter with something more destructive?" That was the point, wasn't it? Noah's surprise aside, if they were planning to make bombs for actual use, the more destructive power the better. "Shrapnel."
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He follows Wylan deeper into the suite, taking up the space next to him on the couch. He normally gave space, but he's a bit reluctant to let Wylan stray too far out of sight right now--he's sure that will fade. Eventually.
"You sure that isn't the energy that is Kavinsky?" Jesper jokes softly, but he knows Wylan has his reasons to worry. "To be honest, the hotel itself is trouble enough. Whole houses? Free for the taking? You're probably right about there being something off there."
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Not that the hotel was much safer but something about Hellburbia just doesn't seem like it was an idyllic community. It takes him a moment, but he slowly leans over and rests his head against Jesper's shoulder, enjoying the closeness that they could share even in their own guilt and grief.
"I hate this place." He frowns, looping his arm around Jesper's as he keeps close. "I don't think you're meant to like it unless you thrive on violence and torture." Or the sex. He's pretty sure he does not want to know what happens in Club Penance.
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He sighs at Wylan's next observation, true as it may be. "If anyone likes this place, I'm making a point to stay far away from them." That was not the kind of person they needed to be dealing with on top of everything else. "The point, apparently, is supposed to be redemption. I'm not so sure it's actually obtainable."
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Then again, the fog may not have been Lucifer's doing, or even the Veiled Order's. Lilith was also trapped with them all and he doesn't think that she would be tortured with them. He huffs out a sigh, carefully moving to take hold of Jesper's hand for the added contact.
"Sorry I just, can't wrap my mind about what we've been through versus what the supposed end goal is." He's thought about it a lot too. "I think you're right about it not being obtainable."
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"I think...all we can do, is keep together. Keep each other grounded and take care of each other." It's how they'd managed to make it so far. He was going to put some faith into that if only because it was the only thing worth putting his faith into.
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Not that he was entirely comfortable with the idea, but it was a solid idea never-the-less. Wylan is grateful that Jesper was someone who could ground him, only briefly wondering what Hell would be like if he wasn't around.
"Are you staying the night?" He asks, changing the subject.
Could he actually handle Jesper in his bed tonight? Their closeness was fine for now, but if he started to touch his neck again, he's not sure he could handle it. He hates the idea that he couldn't handle Jesper even touching him. He unconsciously touches his neck, his breathing quickening slightly.
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He doesn't like what this place is doing to the boy in front of him. There had always been a nervous quality to Wylan, no doubt the result of years under his father's tutorage and scorn. But this was something more, something visceral and dark.
Jesper doesn't like it at all. But he says nothing of it either.
"Do you want me to?" It's a whisper, gentle. He wants to stay, wants the assurance that comes with having Wylan close and not--But he wouldn't force it either. It's obvious Wylan has his own nightmares and scars to deal with. If he felt he needed to do that alone, well he wasn't going to argue.
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"Yes, of course." He whispers back, slowly removing his hand from this throat. "I want you to stay."
He doesn't think he can do this alone. Not yet, not when it's still so raw. What sort of nightmares would sleep bring? He wasn't certain and Wylan doesn't wish to speculate on what his dreams will bring. He's already reliving his deaths every time he looks in the mirror. At least, he thinks, he only has a reminder of one of them.
"What do you want to do in the meantime?" He asks, gripping Jesper's hand tighter. "I was thinking we could grab some coffee from the lobby... At least that was my plan anyway."
Coffee to keep himself awake. That was a healthy plan, wasn't it?
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"I think, that sounds like a good plan..." It was something to occupy them both. A destination, a task--mundane, but enough to distract. "We can head there...see if there's anything we can scrounge up around? Not sure what materials they have, but I wouldn't mind getting my hands on something to work with..."
Distractions. Things that would keep his mind and idle hands occupied. Something that would keep the urge to continually reach out and touch Wylan at bay. He hadn't missed the way he jumped at any contact--and he'd have to be mindful of that.
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Something to distract, something to help get his mind off of the facts - that's all this was. Between the caffeine and whatever they could find, it would be a worthwhile use of his focus. Much better than wallowing in his room wondering when the next Thing was going to happen.
He releases Jesper's hand and pushes himself to his feet. Once standing he offers his hand to Jesper to help him up. Wylan would get through this, he had to. Not just because he enjoyed it when Jesper touched him, but he can't let it beat him.
"Oh!" It dawns on him quickly. "How are Kaz's gloves coming along? I haven't asked you about those in a while."
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"The gloves?" He asks as he takes Wylan's hand and gets up. "Made some headway before...the fog. I think I might be able to ask him for his pair to fix up soon. I want to get it right on the practice sets first."
Right. They had that project. He had almost forgotten in the state the fog and all its horrors had left him in.
"But...if you want something to tinker with. I still plan on sending Noah glitter bombs--even if he swears I don't actually owe him anything."
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He's alive. He's alive and it's okay, he tells himself again before he looks up at Jesper.
"That's good! It's getting colder so I figure it might be handy to get those done before it gets too cold." He points out. Especially with all of the test pairs, they could just gift them to the rest of the gang. There's a small pause before he can't help but laugh. "That's dangerous. Where are we going to find the glitter for something like that?"
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Grounding. Physical, and real, and here. Wylan might tense and jump at other touches for a time, but if he was at least allowed this? He'd take it.
"You just want to steal a pair for yourself when Hell freezes over." He teases, grateful for the chance to banter. It's easier, closer to normal. "As for the glitter...well that's why we're going 'shopping', right?"
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As for their shopping trip... Wylan rolls his eyes a little bit. He agreed to coffee, but maybe going out and actually doing something might be helpful to his mood. He opens the door with a nod.
"All right. Glitter and coffee." He says. "How explosive do you think we should make it?"
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"Coffee first. Then a glitter hunt." Because they both needed the break, the distraction from where conversations will inevitably lead when there was too much quiet. "As for explosive...go big? Get fancy with it."
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He laughs lightly. "Maybe we should make that a priority over glitter first. So Coffee, warmer clothing, glitter, and all the components to make an explosive." He'd need to put together a list of items they'd need to accomplish it. "Does Noah know he's getting a glitter bomb?"
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He shakes his head. "Should we write this down? Make a list?" It felt almost downright domestic. A hellish little shopping list. "I told him I'd be surprising him with something. Guess we'll have to deliver it with a warning attached."
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This is exactly what he needed. He squeezes his hand, reassuring him that he was going to be okay. Wylan could get through this trying time as long as he has Jesper with him. He's not sure how he'd manage otherwise.
"It'd take me all day to write it out" He points out with a slight frown. "But making a list isn't a bad idea. Especially since we'll need some specific components for the bomb. I don't know if we'll find everything here." He then gives Jesper a slightly shocked expression. "You better warn him! Maybe making him a literal glitter bomb is a bad idea...."
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None of this would erase what happened, but it would help ease the burden it placed on both of them.
"Wylan...you say that like I wouldn't write it for you." As if he would make him suffer a list. He could easily make one up and check it for them as they go along. "You can just dictate what we need, no problem...Might be best if you dictate the note that should go along with whatever this glitter monstrosity will be."
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That sounded like a reasonable plan. Make a list, figure out what exactly they need, and then build a bomb. Simple, right?
"Yeah." A beat. "Why do I get the feeling this is probably a bad idea? Like maybe I should tone it down a bit?" Cause really giving Noah an explosive... was that the best idea in the world? Would he actually be safe with it? Hopefully, they don't regret giving him such a dangerous gift.
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But it was a reasonable plan, all things considered. He hoped hell had what they needed for a bomb. It probably had it in spades.
"Bad idea? Probably. Should we do it anyway? Absolutely." What was life without a little (mostly) harmless chaos? Specifically chaos of their own making. "It'll be fine."
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He walks down the hall with a shake of his head and a smile on his lip. He couldn't stand the crushing guilt or the terror that snuck its way through his veins, but at least for the moment, he could pretend everything was fine.
"All right, all right. One destructive glitter bomb will be made. Just one. If we can find the right materials then we might have a fighting chance for whatever Hell throws at us next."
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"If you're thinking about making this a fighting chance against Hell's bullshit, we might need to think about trying for more than a glitter bomb."
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Among other things.
Back to the topic at hand.
"Well if we get the components the only difference between what I would be making for Noah and what I would make normally would be the glitter." He points out. "We just need to make sure we find everything we need." Containers, powder, starting mechanisms that he may need to build on his own -- it would be an interesting list to say the least.
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Things and feelings that were better left for another time.
"...Same base, different outcomes. What if we replaced the glitter with something more destructive?" That was the point, wasn't it? Noah's surprise aside, if they were planning to make bombs for actual use, the more destructive power the better. "Shrapnel."
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